Monday, August 18, 2014


A week into dating Cole, I knew I loved him. I had never known anyone like him. He was his own kind, and I felt as if I was doing a disservice to humanity by loving him. It didn't seem fair for someone like me, to deprive the world the chance to love someone like him. I was Amanda Call, you know? I had made mistakes that would always pull at my veins in my sleep, and had left little pieces of my soul with people so much less than all he was. It almost felt like I had tricked him into an adoration I didn't deserve. So, I developed this strong sense of unfulfilled duty to warn him of all my scars. I wanted to give him a fighting chance to get away, while he still could; before I loved him oceans more. So, I picked him up in my car, and we drove somewhere; away from our happy bubble. And I just started talking. For a long time. And he just listened. I kept waiting for those grey eyes of his to show a hint of pain or detest, but they never did. He just kept listening to the words he knew I needed to say. A long while later, he stopped me. And the only words he spoke were: "It's a good thing we have the Atonement then, isn't it?"

Then he hugged me tight, and never thought about it again.

 I, on the other hand, still think about it all the time. Because it changed me forever.

I watched this Mormon Message today, and it just reminded me of that day.
Everyone needs to watch it.

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