Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The Post That Should Be In All Caps

The world has been crushing my soul lately. It has been letting me down. Not even the whole world, - mostly just the women in the world. The things chicks have been raising picket signs for, have been disintegrating my faith in all of humanity. And I need to talk about it, before I explode from an O'bomba. (See what I did there?)

1. 50 Shades Of Grey

I have never met a woman who looks upon pornography with admiration and respect. I have never met a girl who longs for the day when her husband can become engulfed in a thirst for his needs to be satisfied by something/someone outside of their marriage. I have never been to a class, read a book, listened to a single lyric that teaches us how to better our lives with the power of pornography.

It is an addiction, and it is one that has damage engraved in every syllable of the word. It ruins lives. It lessens marriages. It destroys the ability to love. It shatters families. It takes a jack-hammer to work ethic and the will to keep a job. It flushes talent down the toilet, and pisses on character.

Men are divorced, looked down upon, sent to rehab, cut from religious families. But women can read a book like '50 Shades Of Grey', as long as it's disguised as romance. They scream to the world: "It's okay, because they threw in the word 'love' a few times." This thing you are trying to pass as 'love' is making a mockery of every love story that has ever been lived - but, because it is surrounded by page numbers and indentations and paragraphs, you are claiming it exists for intelligence.

"Hence, I warn against pornography. It is degrading of women. It is evil. It is infectious, destructive, and addictive. The body has means by which it can cleanse itself from harmful effects of contaminated food or drink. But it cannot vomit back the poison of pornography. Once recorded, it always remains subject to recall, flashing its perverted images across your mind, with power to draw you away from the wholesome things in life. Avoid it like the plague!" [Russell M. Nelson]

Matt Walsh yells along with Elder Nelson and I, regarding the upcoming movie:
"This isn't really a film. Film is art. Art exists for a reason. It speaks to us. It communicates a truth. Art is beautiful, moving, real.

This is a business decision. It's about as artistic as the end cap display at the grocery store. It's a marketing gimmick. It exists to be consumed, and for no other reason. It will enter into your mind, and lessen you. It will steal another piece of your humanity. It's the opposite of art - it's a complete inversion. It is to art, what a black hole is to the sun.

Nobody responsible for this movie ever, at any point, said to themselves, 'Geez, now this is a story that really needs to be told.' It doesn't need to be told, and it isn't a story. It's loveless sex and degradation. No narrative, no message, no redemption. If that's all you want, you'll find plenty of it at the strip club down the street.

The problem with the sex portrayed in this movie, or in any trashy romance novel you find at the airport, or in many other film and TV shows, or in many actual relationships, is that it's always self-seeking, never honest, never truthful, never trusting, and never protecting. There is no hope in it, no kindness, no sacrifice. It's selfish and removed, which makes it stale, which is why people tire of it so quickly and become so bored with it all.

I've long struggled to define feminism, but if 50 Shades of Grey makes the cut, then feminism is dead and buried. Surely the movement is worthless if it won't loudly reject a book about a woman's adventures in being manhandled and used by an emotionally stunted playboy."

Today, someone on Facebook quoted a line from the novel:
"Finally, my medulla oblongata recalls its purpose, I breathe."

I thought this was a joke, so I looked it up.
Nope. Not a joke. Completely real. That line actually appears in a best-selling piece of literature. That line was written by someone masquerading as an author, approved by someone masquerading as an editor, published by someone masquerading as a publisher, and then consumed by millions of people masquerading as literate.

I found some other excerpts that are almost as bad:
"That's the bottom line. I want to be with him. My inner goddess sighs with relief."

"Her curiosity oozes through the phone."

"My scalp prickles as adrenaline and fury lance through my body, all my worst fears realized."

"My inner goddess is beside herself, hopping from foot to foot."

This is some very, very stupid material. It reads like a thesaurus procreated with a script from a soft core porn and then the baby fell into a vat of Lifetime Channel DVDs. My inner goddess is rolling her eyes, my inner brain is hurting.

I hope your medulla oblongata recalls its purpose, and stops you from seeing this tripe.

2. Feminism

Shailene Woodley told the media that she is not a feminist. AND PEOPLE ARE SO PISSED. They are acting as if she needs to be burned at the stake. Like the Devil, himself, entered her being, and forced the words out of her mouth.

Can we just refresh our memories on a woman who IS a feminist, and has been shoving that fact down the world's throat lately?

Kate. Kelly.

Kate Kelly is was a member of the LDS church, who was literally fighting to get women same rights as priesthood holders. This 'human rights attorney' is trying to SUE GOD. She is trying to APPEAL HIS LAWS.

According to Ms. Kelly, feminism is throwing tantrums and demanding the Heavens to change their rules, so you can feel important enough, even though 90% of the talks at Priesthood Session exist solely to convince men to treat you better. Feminism is making picket signs, instead of dealing with the fact that your feelings of under-appreciation are coming from inside the walls of your own home; your own soul, and not from the church.  Feminism is lessening the significance and power of motherhood. Feminism is choosing power over calling.

Feminism is arm wrestling men, and going on strike when they don't let you win, because you deserve to win. Feminism is arm wrestling men, and going on strike when they DO let you win, because it was obviously an act of sexism.

If men went around with megaphones, screaming that they should be invited to Women's Conference, because they are too important to sit at home, women would find a way to be super offended. They would cry that men don't think they're special enough to have their own meeting.

Wait, can we talk about this? Women are so mad that they can't sit in on Priesthood Session, and they all attended a meeting called WOMEN'S CONFERENCE a few months ago. You're feeling unequal, and victims of sexism, when there is literally a meeting for women only.

?!?!?! Am I missing something???

Men aren't invited to Women's Conference, because they wouldn't get anything out of talks directed at women, BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT WOMEN.

You are not invited to Priesthood Session, because YOU DON'T HOLD THE PRIESTHOOD. Let me get this straight, you're really contemplating the importance of your life, because you can't scribble notes on paper about how to better use your Priesthood duties WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN HOLD THE PRIESTHOOD?

Just to make sure I'm hearing correctly -  instead of doing everything you can possibly do to make your sons, and boyfriends, and husbands get the most out of the most powerful meeting they could attend - you want to sit next to them while the prophet lectures them about how they don't treat women well enough. You find it your God-given right to replace the power of the SPIRIT, with the power of embarrassment, so they can see you out of the corner of their eye, while they are condemned for the rising rates of pornography.

I am not a feminist. I do not need Cole to be less, in order for me to be happy.

Cole was created to hold the Priesthood. It is something I will never be enough to hold. Because that is not why I was created. Don't you understand? I was not created to hold the Priesthood, and Cole was not trusted with the responsibility to NURTURE HUMAN BEINGS, because that is not his purpose.

You are fighting to change a Gospel that was not created to be changed. And the fact that you're fighting to change it at all, proves that you don't believe in it. Why are you so mad that you are not welcome to remain a part of something you CLEARLY have no faith in? Why are you so mad at a God you clearly don't trust?

Guess what this Gospel is, 100% first-and-foremost, centered around? Family. The Priesthood exists to assist in the prevailing of families. The Priesthood lives to be YOUR sidekick in raising YOUR family.

You don't even have to be LDS to understand that Adam and Eve were created SOLELY to create a family.

That is why 2 men weren't created. Or 2 women. Feminists scream that we should have all the same duties, but if that were true, there would only be women. Or only be men.

I understand that 2 men can love each other. I am not saying that it is an impossible feeling, or that science and anatomy programmed you to be incapable of that. I believe you. I really do. What I'm saying is: we were not sent here to simply fall in love. That would have been a disservice to all our abilities, and all that Eternity exists to satisfy.

And that was hard for even me to understand, for a long time. There was a time in my life, when the hardest thing anyone could have ever told me, is that: being in love is not enough. The most soul-shattering words that ever entered my being, were arranged in a phrase that sounded like: "I don't care if you love him, he is not why you're here. Suck it up."

I am indescribably, unnaturally in love with Cole. I didn't know feelings like this could even exist in something as unworthy as these skin and bones. But, guess what? I was not sent here to fall in love with Cole - that love exists to assist an even more important thing: procreation. I am here to create a family. I am here to have children, with the man I love most in this world, and that is why God doesn't accept same-sex gender. Not because you are not capable of loving another man, or another woman - I believe you when you say that you do - but because you cannot procreate and, no matter how hard it is to hear, that is more important than butterflies and love letters.

This is also why God does not, WILL NOT EVER, accept abortion. Of course God wants you to be happy. Of course God wants your burdens to be light. Of course God wants you to be free to make choices. That is exactly why He made the Atonement possible; the ability to repent after you make mistakes - instead of letting Satan follow through with his plan of "NO AGENCY." But if you understand the importance of family, if you believe in a Gospel that exists for families, then you will never be able to justify abortion with the "free agency" card. You exist to build a family. And because you exist to build a family, you CANNOT reject that chance when it approaches you - no matter how flawed the steps that led you there are. You will kill every chance that Spirit had to grow - to learn - to ride a bike, to fall in love, to taste mom's gingersnaps on Christmas Eve, to build of family of its own, to enter the temple. And God will never accept that. God can't ever accept that.

Family is the most important thing. I have said it a million times. Everything else exists solely to help that thing along. So guess what Satan is going to work hardest to destroy? Corrrrrrect. He doesn't care if you have tattoos, or if you spend 30% of all your paychecks on cigarettes. He could care less if you live with a man or a woman. All he cares about, is that those decisions eventually stop you from an Eternal family. That is why every TV show that aired this week had at least one same-sex relationship in it. That is why he is cramming feelings of inadequacy down women's throats, and naming them "feminists". Because Satan wants you to feel like being a mother is not enough! He wants you to believe in your "right to (a very false) equality", because he knows how important your role as a woman actually is. Satan doesn't want the Priesthood to exist. He doesn't want ANYTHING of God to exist. But he wants YOU to want it, regardless, because it is a desire less than all you are capable of.

Now, I am obviously not claiming Priesthood to be something less significant than nurturing children. Men weren't made to give birth to children, and because of that, Priesthood is the most important thing they can hold to maintain an Eternal family. To men, Priesthood is the highest power in the world. And for good reasons.

But, ladies, the world will do anything to break the importance of families, and feminists are at the front of their battleline, with the war-cries of "YOU NEED THE PRIESTHOOD" to distract you from the greatest duty in the history of all mankind.

Yep. The LDS Church is super sexist. That's why they give talks like this at the meeting you're maliciously not allowed to attend:


And say quotes like these about the priesthood you 'need' so badly:
"Eve was the final link in the chain of creation. . . . All the purposes of the world and all that was in the world would be brought to naught without woman— a keystone in the priesthood arch of creation." [Russell M. Nelson; 1987]

And words like these about the importance of motherhood:
"During my professional career as a doctor of medicine, I was occasionally asked why I chose to do that difficult work. I responded with my opinion that the highest and noblest work in this life is that of a mother. Since that option was not available to me, I thought that caring for the sick might come close. I tried to care for my patients as compassionately and competently as Mother cared for me." [Russell M. Nelson; 1999]

“Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels." [The First Presidency]

And tell these stories about the protection mothers provide, in a world that is trying to claim can only come from the Priesthood:
Long years ago, Elder Frank Croft was serving in the state of Alabama. While preaching to the people, he was forcefully abducted by a vicious gang, to be whipped and lashed across his bare back. Elder Croft was ordered to remove his coat and shirt before he was tied to a tree. As he did so, a letter he had recently received from his mother fell to the ground. The vile leader of the gang picked up the letter. Elder Croft closed his eyes and uttered a silent prayer. The attacker read the letter from Elder Croft’s mother. From a copy of that letter, I quote:
"My beloved son, remember the words of the Savior when He said, ‘Blessed are ye when men shall revile you and persecute you and say all manner of evil against you falsely for my name’s sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad for you will have your reward in Heaven for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.’ Also remember the Savior upon the cross suffering from the sins of the world when He had uttered these immortal words, ‘Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.’ Surely, my boy, they who are mistreating you … know not what they do or they would not do it. Sometime, somewhere, they will understand and then they will regret their action and they will honor you for the glorious work you are doing. So be patient, my son, love those who mistreat you and say all manner of evil against you and the Lord will bless you and magnify you. Remember also, my son, that day and night, your mother is praying for you.”
Elder Croft watched the hateful man as he studied the letter. He would read a line or two, then sit and ponder. He arose to approach his captive. The man said: “Feller, you must have a wonderful mother. You see, I once had one, too.” Then, addressing the mob, he said: “Men, after reading this Mormon’s mother’s letter, I just can’t go ahead with the job. Maybe we had better let him go.” Elder Croft was released without harm. 
SO RELAX. You don't need to keep objecting to every "BOYZ ONLY" clubhouse, in order to feel like you don't have cooties. (Also, that was me telling you to grow up).

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