Friday, October 11, 2013

If The Bitter Cup Does Not Pass; Drink It, And Be Strong.

I hate the radio. I hate the “songs” that are popular these days. Because in all reality, there is a very, very fine line between “music” and “monotone-ly saying words”.

Like, for example: The other day I decided I would finally try the radio out again, instead of listening to my ‘Three Days Grace’ CD for the thousandth time. I push the “FM” button, and there is this random guy I’ve never heard of, literally talking in a monotone voice to music. Like, my high school Science teacher could have sounded the exact same if you put background music on during his lectures.

And, okay, not only was it the most effortless, untalented “singing” I have ever heard, but these were the lyrics:
“Slow down.
Grab the wall.
Wiggle like you tryna make yo a** fall off.
Hella thick I wanna smash ‘em all.
Now speed up, gas pedal.”

I didn’t know if I should be offended or not, because I couldn’t even humanly understand what he was trying to say. What’s thick? And what do you want to smash? And what do you even mean by “smash”? Is this song degrading to women? Because it's starting to sound like it.

No talent required. No intelligence required. There are artists out there whose music is so well-written, it sounds like they are artistically singing beautiful poetry. And then there’s this random guy, reading words off the back of a bathroom stall, and he's becoming famous for it. I hate the radio. Even when it is playing decent songs. Every once in awhile, a song will come on that I actually like, and I immediately fill with anger. Because what did that artist do to deserve having his song played after some teenage girl with a guitar sings about her Jr. High crush? I hate the radio.
But last year, there was a song that became incredibly famous. It was one of those songs that was on three stations at the same time, at all times. It was one of those songs that was unrealistically hard to get out of your head. Never mind that it was extremely over-played; never mind the frustration of accidentally singing it out loud around people; push aside the fact that the radio is ruining music; I found myself wanting to hear it again. I still find myself wanting to hear it. The voices aren’t overly-talented, and it doesn’t have a crazy beat. I found [find] myself wanting to hear it, simply because of one single sentence, that struck me to the bone. It punched me in the face, and woke me up from a sleep that I didn’t even know was happening.

In the song “Somebody That I Used To Know” by Goyte, they sang:

“You can be addicted to a certain kind of sadness.” 

Simple, right? 10 short words. But 10 short words that snapped me out of a foggy hypnosis. I may have missed it the first, second, and tenth times I heard the song - but one day, driving to work, robotically not focusing on the music playing - a simple sentence caught my attention, and caused me to scrunch my eyebrows a little bit.

Because guess what? You can be addicted to a certain kind of sadness. You can get so comfortable with gloom, that the idea of happiness looks exhausting. You can get so sucked into a world of misery, that the idea of becoming someone who could laugh uncontrollably, just scares you to your very core.

It’s easy to be sad. It’s easy to breathe in the “Why-Me’s?” and drown in the self-pity. It’s easy to sleep too much, and have too little motivation. It’s easy to have people daunt on your every need, and cradle you at every sniffle. It's easy to settle for an empty love, because love is so hard to come across in the first place. It's easy to be sad. It's easy to settle for misery.

Yes, sometimes happiness is hard work. Sometimes you have to choose happiness time, after time, after time. And let me tell you, making the conscious effort to choose to be happy can become absolutely exhausting.

This is the scary part: Not only can you become addicted to your own sadness, but you can actually get to a point, where you are addicted to someone else’s sadness; to their flaws; their darkness; their scars.

And that addiction can turn into obligation.

You start out loving their quirks, and then, years later, all of a sudden you look back, and you’re not even sure if you even like them the tiniest bit anymore - let alone love them. But because of their darkness, you stay. Because of their helplessness, and their dependency - you stay. They trusted you with their secrets. They leaned on you in their weakest hour. Their soul shouted its' depth to yours. And because of that, you can’t seem to break away. You’ve watched their cuts turn to scars, and you’ve been a part of the few happy days they’ve had in a world full of bad ones. And because of that, you stay.

You can be addicted to a certain kind of sadness, and that addiction turns into obligation with no time for you to even flinch at the sight.

But listen to me when I say:
You are not obligated to love anyone. It’s not your duty to stay. You are not doing anyone favors, and it’s not going to save anyone’s life.

You know what is your obligation? Sucking it up, and getting out of bed. Roll if you have to. Climb out of that self-pittying hole you’ve dug for yourself, and focus on other people.

I understand that there are some people who have no control over the disease of despair. They don’t get to choose. But most people do. And that choice to be sad is nothing but a short cut. And let me tell you something – there is no short cut to happiness. You can’t cheat your way to love. You can’t hop a fence into Heaven. And you surely can't [by obligation] float in a pool of damaging love, and simply trust it not to suck you under the second you start to get tired. 

I’m just rambling, and yelling, and being spazzy. I’ll let Elder Holland save me on this one.

“Believe in miracles. I have seen so many. They came when every indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: If the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.” 

“God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you not simply to face the future (that sounds pretty grim and stoic); He expects you to embrace and shape the future--to love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities."DON'T YOU QUIT. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon. Some come late. Some don't come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be alright in the end. Trust God and believe in Good Things to Come."

"Joy in the gospel is not something that begins only in the next life. It is our privilege now, this very day. We must never allow our burdens to obscure our blessings. There will always be more blessings than burdens - even if some days it doesn't seem so. Jesus said, 'I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.' Enjoy those blessings right now. They are yours and always will be."

"In a dating and courtship relationship, I would not have you spend even five minutes with someone who belittle you, one who is constantly critical of you, one who is cruel at your expense - and may even call in 'humor'. Life is tough enough without the person who is supposed to love you, leading the assault on your self-esteem; your sense of dignity; your confidence; your joy. In this person's care, you deserve to feel physically safe and emotionally secure." 

Fighting through darkness and despair and pleading for the light is what opened this dispensation. It is what keeps it going, and it is what will keep you going.”“On that very night, the night of the greatest suffering that has ever taken place in the world or that ever will take place, the Savior said, 'Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you... Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.' I submit to you, that may be one of the Savior's commandments that is, even in the hearts of otherwise faithful Latter-day Saints, almost universally disobeyed; and yet I wonder whether our resistance to this invitation could be any more grievous to the Lord's merciful heart.” 

“I suppose it goes without saying that negative speaking so often flows from negative thinking about ourselves. We see our own faults, we speak - or at least think - critically of ourselves, and, before long, that is how we see everyone and everything. No sunshine, no roses, no promise of hope or happiness. Before long, we and everybody around us are miserable.” 

“We should honor the Savior's declaration to 'be of good cheer.' Indeed, it seems to me we may be more guilty of breaking that commandment than almost any other!” 

You know, I was going to post a thousand more quotes, but instead, I'll just let you read:
Created For Greater Things


  1. I have to tell you... I randomly stumbled across your post while googling for General Conference memes this morning. Your words pierced the depths of my soul in a very personal way. Thank you for sharing these thoughts - I needed this. <3

    1. Oh my, this means so much to me! I feel like God has consistently been pushing me to help others learn the lessons I have learned, for as long as I can remember. And a lot of the time I fail him and get too nervous to. So the fact that it actually does help people when I listen to Him, means more than you know! Thank you for your sweet comment!