Tuesday, December 3, 2013


^^^I mean, I am not hard to please when it comes to Musicals.
I love most of them.
But you couldn't pay me to sit through that one again. (Fiddler On The Roof).

(ADHD already on the first paragraph)
(Bear Bare Bear Bare Bear with me ......Be patient with me)

Obviously I'm a Tradition-Junkie.
We're not going to go over this again.
(You're welcome).

Because of this, I physically cannot buy an Artificial Christmas Tree.
It's not a "tradition" if you go pick a Christmas tree out ONE TIME.

(900 S. 600 W. Alpine, UT)
(And hellooooo, is there a better smell in the world? Definitely not).

Not only do we "pick a tree", we spend 30 minutes trying to measure it with the world's flimsiest tape measurer to know how much to cut off, saw it with our own two hands whilst simultaneously trying to keep it from crushing that one kid that is always standing directly under it, wait in line for a guy on a four-wheeler to help us haul it, get impatient, drag it ourselves, get 75 "pine needle splinters", get stuck in the gate, and finally throw it on the trailer. 
It's not comparing Artificial Christmas Tree prices on the Internet, it is a literal CHRISTMAS ADVENTURE. 

That beauty is my 8.5 ft. tree.
I won't even try to explain to you the steps taken to set up my parent's 16 ft. tree in their house.

Not only do they offer Artificial Trees, they even offer Pre-Lit trees.
Wait, what?
All you have to do is remove the sheet you draped it with to keep the dust off it?

The fact that my arms are almost raw by the time I am done shoving my arms in pine needles, trying to wrap the lights around the 12 rows of branches while balancing on 2 stacked buckets - and I STILL continue choosing fresh trees - should be the only proof you need that this tradition is entirely worth it.

Because, it's not actually about the Tree.
It's not about how good of a deal you got on the shipping.
It's not about how much easier it will be to have the Tree already lit.

It's about the people you get the Tree with.
It's about the time you spend with each other.

It's about spending 30 minutes trying to find a parking spot on that tiny Alpine road, and then realizing you have absolutely no idea how you're going to get out of the spot you just parked in.

It's about running from Row 36, back to Row 17, back to Row 36, back to Row 17, because Mom and Dad can't make up their minds about which Tree to get.

It's about Jake doing everything in his power to carry the Tree into the house barefoot, without getting pine needles stabbed in his toes.

It's about Dad tying the tree to the railing with a rope, while Jake and Mitch screw in the Tree-Stand...wrong...10 times in a row...

It's about spending 2 weeks straight, going through old Christmas bins with Mom, deciding which ornaments I can have, and which ones we'll be putting on the Call Tree.

It's about the hours spent mod-podging cheetah tissue paper to ornaments - because you just want this Tree to be all-Peterson.

It's about the 10 little fights you get in, during one row of branches, because you're just so freaking frustrated; And it's about the 10 times you make-up and the 10 times you have to think of clever new ways to make each other laugh again for the next row.

It's about laughing your head off in church the next day, because it's the first time you've looked at your arms and realized you have 402834 tiny red dots on your arms from the needles.
It's about the memories that hit you again, every time you see those pesky little red dots for the next 3 weeks.

It's about smacking your head on the ceiling over and over again, while you try to crawl under the tiniest space under the stairs to pull out the ornaments Mom and Dad used for the Tree of 1994.

It's about the Storage Unit you've had to open, solely to store Christmas ornaments from the different-themed trees every single year.

It's about the nostalgia that rushes over you as you say, "Oh yeah, that was for the Fishing-Themed-Tree mom did", and "Hahah I totally forgot about the Creepy Elf Tree."

It's about laying under the Tree together, after it's FINALLY DONE - in unbelief that you actually made it look that good.

It's about parking your car in the garage, after the WORST DAY EVER, and looking up to see your husband has already plugged in the lights for the night, because he just couldn't wait any longer. 

...I will never buy an Artificial Tree.
I will never spare my kids the joy of bloody arms and sappy hair.