Birthday Suuuuuit.

To start this post, quick flashback of my past birthdays!

I couldn't even tell you what birthday this was. Probably 13th or something? Anywho, the year of the worst hair ever.

15th birthday, along with multiple other birthdays took place at the condo in Park City. These peeps were my best friends from 4th grade until, well, forever. We would swim for dayzzz and then sleepover, because they are my mom's "other" children. 

16th birthday consisted of a day spent with Ben, and a new bug. We literally just drove around all day. That bug was the most unreliable car on the planet earth, and it still freaks me out that I dated one of my best friends. Gagging just typing about it. So, here ya go, 16 - year of the bug. Which doesn't mean a lot to the regular people reading this, but means a WHOLE LOT to the people who experienced that dang car with me. 

Ok, 17th birthday. Me and Jake have been sitting here at work for a good 10 MINUTES trying to figure out where I even was in life when I was 17. It took us an hour to decide it was 2009. Which I believe was like the month before I started my senior year? So I did some self-cyber-stalking and I'm almost positive it was spent with my (at the time) best friend Zacharie Todd. But, ya know, I really could be wrong. Anyway, 17th year of life was the most normal, relaxing, non-dramatic year of my life, and was spent laying on the ground everywhere with Kenzie and Melissa. 

My 18th birthday. Since I was finally old enough to get into clubs, we spent the night clubbing in Salt Lake City at 80's night. We went to "The Pie" with my wonderful mother, and then stayed at a hotel afterwards. 80's night has slowly gone downhill since then, due to the younger kids being so ridiculous - but MAN, was that night the best! My 18th year of life consisted of a whole lot of missionary letters, a new-found love for Ephraim and Snow College, pneumonia, Kirky, and a million dates with Lachelle. 

My 19th birthday. Started out with a job interview. I got the job, but only worked there 2 days before quitting. It was as a caterer for UVU. I had to wear a bow-tie and they taught me how to make dirty silverware appear to be clean. THE WORST. I went to Los Hermanos with my mom, Jakey, Lachelle, Chloe, and Aubree. The only reason I remember that, is because we have pictures of it. I have no idea what we did after that. ANYWAY, my 19th year of life ended up being the scariest, most traumatizing year of my entire life. It was a year of breaking, and a year of losing myself. BUT, it was also a year of learning and healing. I may have lost myself through a lot of it, but I ended up absolutely finding myself at the end. What started out as the worst 2 years of my life, ended up preparing me for Cole. 

My 20th birthday. I can only describe this birthday like swimming. You know when you're under water, and you suddenly start to panic that you don't have enough air, so you swim to the surface as fast as you can? My 20th birthday felt exactly like you feel when you finally get air into your lungs. A lot of people say they can't pinpoint the exact moment when they "changed." But my moment was July 30th. I mean, I had been changing the whole time before that, but July 30th is the day I finally realized who I was, and why I had experienced the things I had experienced. So my birthday consisted of a barbeque with my best friends and my family. I cried that night, because I just couldn't believe I had finally made it to this point alive. Little-known-fact: I invited Cole to this birthday party, because I was still friends with him and Ammaron. He couldn't come, because his mom's birthday dinner was that night. Little did I know, 3-weeks later I would fall in love with him. So my 20th year of life has consisted of falling in love with Cole. It has consisted of constantly learning from him. It has consisted of walking in the temple Amanda Call, and leaving a completely different person. It has consisted of laughing all night until we just physically can't keep our eyes open anymore. It has consisted of new jobs, new callings, and definitely new blessings. It has consisted of revelation after revelation after revelation. My 20th year consisted of falling in love with Cole Ryan Peterson. And that's exactly how my 21st year has begun today. 

OK, so now that all the flashbacks are done, THE POINT OF THIS POST. 

I once read this quote by C.S. Lewis:

I woke up today, and I didn't feel different. 

It was just a normal day of waking up and getting ready for work. 

It was just a normal day of blasting Newsies on the way to work. 

I woke up, and I didn't feel different. 

But then I looked back. 

The best birthday present I could ever have received today, is the fact that I am not the same girl I was on my 20th birthday. Or my 19th birthday. Or my 18th birthday. 

I woke up, and I didn't feel different. 

But then I looked back.