I hate running. Like, I absolutely despise it.
The only reason I was able to stay in shape in high school, was because I played basketball, and running was just part of the game. So I was forced to run in order to play the game I loved.
But now that I'm out of high school, and not playing basketball, you probably couldn't pay me to just strap on my Nikes, and head outside for a jog.
My basketball team wasn't the best, because our coach didn't really know how to coach us.
She didn't know any good plays, and she didn't know how to correct our shots.
But what she did know, was how to run us.
We may not have been the best, but we sure as heck were the most in shape.
And that is how we won.
We would run teams into the ground.
We would be the first on defense, and could successfully complete a fast-break, simply because the other team could not keep up with our speed and endurance.
And I remember conditioning.
If any of you have played a sport before, you've learned to dread the words, "get on the line."
We would all get on the line.
Then she would have each of us, individually, shoot two free-throws.
The number of suicides we ran depended on how many free-throws the shooter made.
And keep in mind, as I said before, we were not the best basketball players.
And on top of that, I don't know if you've ever tried to shoot a free-throw when you've just run 10+ suicides - but your arms are just jello by then, and you have absolutely no momentum in your legs.
So it is nearly impossible.
I remember thinking, "My legs can't possible move any longer." And, "I'm going to throw up if I take another step."
But, lo-and-behold, my legs kept right on moving.
And we kept completing suicides, even though my mind had given up an hour ago.
So, when I hear this quote, (that you all have hear a million times),
"If you do your best, God will do the rest."
I think about that word: best.
And I think back to basketball.
And I think about how we would beg our coach to stop running us.
We would tell her how badly our legs hurt, and how close we were to throwing up.
We would tell her we just couldn't run a step more.
But she knew our strengths even more than we knew our own strengths.
She knew we could handle more, even when we felt like giving up.
What we thought was our "best," was extremely different than what she knew our "best" was.
That's how I feel about that quote.
And that is how I feel about God.
He wants us to be our absolute best selves.
And because of that, sometimes we have to be conditioned to be better.
We have to have trials that hurt.
We have to have difficulties that we just don't think we can handle.
And sometimes we beg Him to stop running us.
We tell Him how badly it hurts, and how we just can't take one more step.
But He knows our strengths more than we know our own.
And He isn't going to allow us to miss out on the person we could become, by sparing us a few heartaches.
Sometimes we feel we're trying our hardest, but we're not seeing results.
Sometimes we are doing everything in our power to repent, but just not feeling forgiveness.
Sometimes we feel we are doing our best, but God is not helping with the rest.
And I just want to tell you guys, that sometimes your "best" means moving forward, even when you feel you can't take a single step more. Sometimes our best means reading a chapter of scriptures, when you are struggling to keep your eyes open. Sometimes your best means forgiving someone, when they continually hurt you time after time after time. And sometimes your best means endlessly searching for happiness, when you feel your heart is unrepairably broken.
He knows your heart. He knows it more than you could ever dream of knowing your own heart, and He knows what trials are going to strengthen you, and which ones could potentially break you. He knows you can keep running those suicides, even though you don't think your body can take a single step more.
Keep working. And keep moving. And it will pay off in the end, I promise you that. Though it might not be when you want it to pay off, it pays off.
Not only is this a huge part of my testimony, but it is extremely appropriate for my sweet little family's events this week.
THIS BOY got a job with the Lehi Police Department yesterday!!!!!!!!
After a year of running till he threw up, and only seeing me an hour a day for class, HIS HARD WORK IS PAYING OFF.
He has to ride with a Lehi Police Officer for "training" for the next few months without being paid. He has to work 12 hours shifts, not picking whether they are day shifts, or night shifts. And financially, it is going to be a little bit of a sacrifice. But I believe in him so much, you guys. I believe that at the end of these long months, he will be hired full-time, and all his hard work will pay off again.
Because I believe that God blesses the hard-working.
And I believe He has a plan for us that will make us happier beyond belief.
I'm so proud of my hard-working, self-sacrificing husband!!!
And I am so excited to start this next chapter in our lives!
He couldn't have been hired to a more close-knit, family-oriented department, and I am feeling so EXTREMELY blessed.